Reunion

I got an email from old friend yesterday.. She said that I had not updated my blog for quite some time.. ouch... it was last updated in 2012? errkkk... what have i been doing all the while? being busy? cliche la.... i am not going to update the 2013 all around... keep moving no?.. 

At the end of 2013, my ex-schoolmates were so excited to having a reunion... i remembered that i once wrote about reunion in one of my essay in form 3 and got a thumb up from the teacher... and 25 years later.. my buddies planning for reunion and i was appointed to be the chairperson.. so it was... and i'm telling you.. it was not a piece of cake to gather 80 people in a day... we managed to get about 30 and 2 teachers... okay la... with the fact that we changed the date 4 times.. changed the venue twice within 3 months to accommodate at least all the committee members.. but still.. end up one cannot make it... 

We finally make it happened.. a reunion after 25 years... at Thistle Hotel Johor Bahru, on the 22nd February 2014 in Arabian Theme (kononnya la...) with 'Many Paths.. One Spirit.. Ex-KTAM Class of 87-89'.. It was really fun... it was like 40 turned 15... even the teachers said so... didn't see us as a grown women with kids and career.. we were just like we used to be.. and here goes my speech on the day... 

Glad to be here, finally after years of plan yang tak jadi. Started with anne who pull 50 of our batch in what’s app group. We share a lot of things in there. Then we keep on asking when are we going to meet? Then we decided to form AGK in which Pai sudah melantik puan yang sedang bercakap ni as d presiden coz kalo tak de kapla tak kan jadik la. So for the sake of having this reunion, I took the responsibility and so… here we are… gathered in Thistle after 25 years. Thanks to : All AGK : norle, yaya, mimi, kas, anne, mak jah, ijan, june, piot, mak jem,  pai & yud for your energy, spirit and buah fikiran to make the reunion happen. And the most important thing is… thanks to all of you yang bersusah payah datang dari jauh dan dekat.. Meninggalkan roommate masing2 for a few precious hours to be here… Though ramai lagi yang teringin to join, tapi keadaan tidak mengizinkan.. Mungkin rezeki di masa akan datang.. We have this kind of theme.. Arabic.. As a symbolic that we did learn arabic language though we do not practice them frequently or not at all like me… I even forgot that I took an exam on arabic.. And our message for today… Many Paths, One Spirit.. Is such relevant phrase to us… who have through different paths for the past 25 years… we have gone through all the ups and downs in our circle of life.. We meet more people.. And different gender… some of us meet new intimate roommate, some still looking for one while some have lost one.. Most of us are now busy with our own life… but there is one spirit that gather us together.. Spirit to be with our long founded lost friend from Kolej Tunku Ampuan Mariam… Friends that keep our spirit high dalam apa jua keadaan.. Friends yang sentiasa bersama susah senang di KTAM… friends yang sentiasa memberi telinga di kala hati gundah… friends yang ketawa bersama gembira dengan setiap detik indah yang pasti kita tak akan lupa selamanya… I believe.. Setiap dari kita punya satu rasa yang sama… kenangan di KTAM sangat mahal harganya yang tak akan ada di mana mana… We want the spirit to grow in our young ones… and those spirit sangat benar… thanks to Miah yang sanggup bersusah payah from Perak to join us here with so many pitstop… and Jaslina yang sememangnya datang untuk a couple of hours and then has to rush back to Kay Ell and pick up her mom… those are the spirit that grow in us… EX-KTAMIAN.. With that kind of spirit, I end my speech to all dear beloved friends… though we go through many different paths, we only have one spirit… EX-KTAMIAN

It was one day of a history to us... and at this very moment... i only pray that my daughters and son will have such spirit to be independent, to be strong spiritually and mentally in their life.. I love them all..

Emak..

First of all.. I would like to congratulate a dear friend who stepped into another phase of her life as a wife and a mom... Wish you all the best in your new journey.. May you and family be blessed along the way...

Lately... and I mean this past few years.. emak always in my mind.. not that i did not remember her before.. but lately i feel like she's always by my side.. if years is the measure.. i didnt spend much time with emak in her life... she passed away when i was ten... and years in between i lived with my atok and my embah.. only if emak could get a maid to take care of me, that i would stay with her.. but during the last year of her life.. i insisted to live with her.. i didn't care if i'm the only child who finished my school at kampung.. i only wanted to be near her... and yet.. i only spent about five months with her.. she left us on 10th of July 1984.. in that short ten years... i still missed her a lot...

I tried to be like her.. somehow.. she is my role model... i learned to cook, to sew, to knit and other things that emak used to do.. but at one point i know that i cant be like her... i dont like planting.. but emak had a lots of flower pots around the house.. i do love flowers and bouquet but not growing them... i can't sulam my own baju.. eventhough i took the machine home hoping that miracle will happen.. i can't do the embroidery..

She taught me english since i was three.. back then i was proud to be the only person who knew english words in my kindergarten.. she would buy me fancy dresses and the one that i remembered most was the one i wore when i was four.. it was a sleeveless blue long dress with fancy ribbons which has three staggered layers.. i called it 'baju tingkat-tingkat'.. when it was too small for me, she bought me another when i was six.. it was a light blue long dress with ruffle sleeves and three staggered layers.. but i preferred the earlier... she bought me the dress for my kindergarten graduation day.. i was in the singing competition... i remembered that emak would ask me to sing at any time... be it in the bathroom, be it after meal or even before i slept.. and i got third place in the competition.. i lived with my embah when i was in standard one to standard three.. emak said she wanted me to be in the best school in town... and that would be SIGS.. she wanted me to be well-versed in english... every year i would beg emak to take me with her and finally emak did when i was in standard four..

When i lived with her, i thought that i could get things that wanted much easier.. but that was not the case... i had to beg her permission to join the 'Brownie' club at school.. emak finally agreed with one condition.. she wont give me a sen to pay for the fee or the uniform.. i had to earn my own... i desperately agreed with her condition.. i saved 10 sen or 20 sen a day for the fee and hopefully for the uniform... after two months, i had to pay twenty ringgit for my uniform but my saving was still not enough... i when went to emak and asked her for another eighteen ringgit because i only had two ringgit... after listening to her morning lecture, emak gave me eighteen ringgit and said "ini lapan belas ringgit ni pinjam tau.. kumpul duit dan bayar balik pada emak..". But i just forgot about saving and pay because i already had my uniform... but emak never asked me about the money ever... now i understand that it's not that emak didnt wanna give me the money.. its not that emak didnt have the money... emak wanted me to know that it was not easy to earn.. you have to work hard and save if you want to buy something... life is not that easy..

The last thing i remembered of emak's words were a piece of advice she gave to my cousin who was a year older.. my cousin used to blame her mom for anything.. she was anak abah.. and that made her think that her mom wont do any good to her... one fine morning... i was in the room with emak.. i massaged emak's head because she complained for headache since the night before.. then we heard my cousin barking to her mom and said some not-nice-for-hearing words from my cousin to her mom.. emak asked me to call my cousin into the room.. and then emak said.."macam mana pun kau benci emak kau.. dia tetap emak kau.. kalau kau tak tahu nak hormat mak engkau hidup kau tak akan pernah senang... ".. and i knew now that  whatever emak said to my cousin was true...

Now... whenever i had a low life or feeling down... my thought for emak become stronger... how i wish i could pour all my misery to her just to listen to her piece of advice... how i wish i could just lay down on her lap crying and fell asleep... how i wish i could share my happiness with her all the time... how i wish i could see her deep brown eyes smile with happiness.. how i wish... al-fatihah...

R.I.P

rest in peace... it's ramadhan... some says most good people usually will rest in peace during rejab, syaaban or ramadhan... and i believe that my atok is a good person coz she passed away on the tenth of ramadhan this year.. it was quick.. i had a call 3 days before ramadhan atok 'sakit kuat'... one of my aunties said they've already recited the yaasin for her... my sis told me that atok asked for my forgiveness if she's not able to see me ever... we rushed home for the long 4 hours drive that nite.. arrived at 3 a.m.. atok still awake.. she couldnt sleep at all... we talked for about an hour.. she was so happy... she said now everybody was home to see her.. she got the strength... the next day we called up for a medical assistant to check on her... the m.a confirmed that she's just fine in spite of the possible lung infection that made her breathing difficult..

she was happy... she looked around... she talked... she's in her great condition.. and then she said "orang-orang ni kalau aku kata aku sakit semua tak percaya... bila orang ni semua balik tengok aku.. aku ni jadi sihat.." i told her it was because she's happy... that reflect her health... i came back to kl that evening... on the way.. my aunt said something made me realize might be that will be my last time seeing atok... though i couldnt let her go but i 'redha'.. since then my heart jumped out everytime the phone rang and my sis's name was on  the screen.. on the second day of ramadhan.. atok got into difficulty breathing again and unconcious... she was then rushed to the hospital...

on the sixth day of ramadhan.. we rushed to taiping because mak long bah passed away.. we heard that she got a mild stroke a week before... and on the same same day.. atok called up for me.. my sis didnt tell me right away coz she knew i was still in taiping... later that weekend i went home again.. atok was brought home coz she'd been asking to go home ever since she gained her conciousness... we all knew that she insist not to be sent to the hospital... she didnt wanna die in the hospital.. she told me earlier that she didnt wanna die alone.. she looked very ill.. she couldnt talk much.. she couldnt eat.. but she still recognize me while i slowly massage her hard blotted stomach.. the next day.. before went back to kl.. i came to see her again... deep in my heart i wanna stay to tend her.. but somehow we headed to kl after zohor... she's breathing by the oxygen tube.. after iftar.. hubby googled for the oxygen supplier around jb and at the same time i got a call from mak busu... she'd rest in peace... Innalillahi wainna ilahi raji'un... and i had all the memories around her... al-fatihah...

Sharing

Just to share few pics I had...





2 Pieces Tart for Door Gift

21 Pieces Tart in Box



12 Pieces Tart in Box



Collection of Tarts and Cake



Hawflakes Layered Cake for Door Gift



  

P/S: click on the pics for larger image..

Life

i would like to wish an endless happiness for my dear friend who just got married on 7 January 2012... welcome aboard *smile*... you'll find that marriage life is not as easy as you imagine... but... eventually you'll always smile and happy despite of small little things that might upset you.. because that is marriage life... the choice is yours.. you could be happily married or you could be married in grief...

life is always a choice.. once my princess asked.."mama, apa cita-cita mama dulu?".. and i said, when i was in kindergarten i wanna be a singer coz i thought i had a beautiful voice... when i was in primary school i wanna be a teacher because my father was a teacher... then in secondary school i wanna be a lecturer because i thought i love to share my knowledge especially in math... finally after school i chose to be an accountant.. unfortunately the scholar team thought that my english was not good enough for me to go to the UK.. thus.. i ended up finishing my education in electrical engineering.. i studied because i had to study.. i enjoyed my adolescence and adulthood to the max.. though there was not much excellence gained.. i was content... and happy...

once graduated.. i just dunno what to do with my life.. seriously.. i didnt have anything in my mind back then.. i just applied any job vacancies in the papers.. finally i worked with a consultant company as an electrical engineer (recommended by my sis...) for about 8 months or so... the economics crisis aroused and i was laid off.. being jobless for almost a year.. i joined a factory doing sub-con for bigger electronics company as a production engineer... 3 months was too much for me... i lived a lifeless 3 months for working.. working.. and working.. 8 a.m - 9 p.m daily with no weekends at all... the best thing that i should be thankful of was.. i lost my weight.. extremely!! then i got an offer to be a government servant.. and i took it.. i am still with the same company eventhough we were corporatized from the government.. and... i think this will be my last job.. i am satisfied with my current job.. and i think i'll be here till i retire.. :)

i guess.. i'm a simple person... i didnt ask too much in life... i am blissful.. with my king.. my princesses and prince.. my entire family... my job.. my frens.. i wont ask more... some people think that life and living is about money.. not to me... i dont care if i only have a cent in my purse.. i will live with that... though we need money to survive but money couldnt buy happiness.. i believe in that...

recently.. i read a status of a friend in FB who said that.. "kalau kuat iman, berFB ke.. bertwitter ke.. tak akan bercerai berai".. yes.. it is partly true.. but some people just do not aware how bad this social web influence our daily life... there are stats concerning divorce and cracks in marriage... some people are too eager in posting their status to let the world knows what is happening in their daily life... forgetting the fact that there are hearts and souls they have to care... personally.. i think FB is a medium for me to keep in touch with my old buddies.. sometimes we just forgetting that technology kills our life value... technology stops people from talking face to face... technology slowly turns human to loose their humanity... is that a life??